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Friday, January 27, 2006
Just read mengsy's blog. Haha To Mengsy: dont ever think I dont read your blog ar. I always do. haha Anyway, I do understand why she's so pissed with her sister 'cause I share her sufferings too. Not that my sister always look down on me or what, but her nagggy-ness has the similar effect.

And somehow or another, maybe I am over-sensitive or what, she's seems to get whatever she wants in the house. Even my parents listen to her. Be it buying anything or doing anything or changing anything, my parents will ask her first. If she say cannot, means cannot. vice versa. I dont know when she's got this magical power I think ever since she got into Uni. yea maybe that's the power of gettting good results and get into Uni which then makes my parents feel proud of her.

I dont feel like elaborating the details which make me pissed here, in case maybe a few years or months later when i re-read my blog I will feel upset once more. ADDING ON, my dad hasnt been good to me too. Maybe he really feel that I am lazy and lousy or what-so-ever, I just feel that he dont really like me. Maybe he does, just that I didnt sense it. But I guess I know. But the thing is, I cannot see it from his actions. I know guys, esp Asian fathers, are not good at expressing themselves, so I make myself believe that he loves us, he dotes on me. But I cant see it. The problem is, I can see that he dotes on my sis ALOT. To scale it upon 10, he dotes on my sis on abt 9.5, but me.. maybe 5.5. Maybe I underestimated myself, but currently I feel that way.

I just feel so tired of giving in to them all the time, and it just urges me to write this down to vent my anger. I dont mind to be the one to give in, but everything got a limit. And currently, it reached my limit. But I guess it will go back to zero again tml, and I will continue to give in again.

Maybe that's life.

P/S: I feel much better after typing and telling Jiefang. She's right. When family problems occur, this is when friends come in. Thank dear and all my lovely friends. I cant imagine how to carry on without you all support. :)